A Reality Hitting Moment

Posted: January 27, 2012 in #fridayflash, Short stories

The screaming was as high pitched, as an out of tune violin.  Anna squinted as she watched two friends arguing and shouting at the top of their voices. 

As she sat on the sofa it was like being a spectator of a boxing match, as people began parting in the room, each standing behind their opponents, when only hours before they had all been laughing and joking with each other. Arms were waving around and each of their faces seemed to have been injected with Botox, becoming more rigid, tense and seamless as the arguments grew. 

One of the main instigators was screaming at the top of her voice, piercing the air with her shrills of disgust at another. 

“Only dolphins can hear you now!” the other shouted back in a deeper and aggressive voice.

More obscenities and explicit language could be heard as the brawl continued. 

The more the two ringleaders bellowed at each other, the more their body language became predictable and defensive.  Their necks were stretched and their heads sticking out further than they should, from the rest of their body.  Shoulders tucked back, but arm gestures were pointing with poignant thrusts and forceful jabs.

Anna couldn’t decide who was in the right or wrong, she was mesmerised by the performance she was being subjected to and yet a surge of adrenalin had her on the edge of her seat, eyes bulging wide and her mouth firmly shut. 

Anna had seen on several occasions through her love of watching wildlife programmes, tribes of monkeys and apes suddenly divide and be at war with each other, when the hierarchy structure is shifting or in jeopardy.  It usually ended up with lots of squawks from all members of the pack, warning calls and chanting for respect and order to be maintained.  The outcome would normally conclude with two of the most dominant members of the pack physically fighting, until one unfortunately died or was left an outcast.  She couldn’t help but feel this state of affairs was similar in so many ways.

She stood up from the sofa and wanted to interject with reasoning and calm, but they wouldn’t have listened.  Fuelled by alcohol and emotions their actions were not genuine to their personalities’.  A small disagreement over an innocent act by one and an overreaction of the other had resulted in a small party of friends in conflict.

Then a voice penetrated the room and the whole group fell silent.

“This is Big Brother.  Would Christine please come to the diary room,” there was a dramatic pause.  “Chantelle and Morgan please make your way to the bedroom immediately.  All other housemates are to remain in the living area!”

The theme music began and the title page hit the screen. It was over.

How dare they stop the show like that?  She flicked frantically through the channels until she found the live-feed, but all she could hear was intermittent noise as the cameras focused on the housemates in the living area.  They all looked as bewildered as she felt inside.  She’d been watching for days, her body’s imprint on the sofa where she had been sitting, with discarded wrappers, dirty plates and the laptop with the website updates running on the screen. 

Tomorrow she would return to work, she promised herself, but she needed to keep an eye on this situation.

  1. Sonia Lal says:

    oh wow a post-apocalyptic thing? That big brother announcement is a defining moment in the story. Really like the ending too – of course she’s going back to work! LOL

  2. John Wiswell says:

    I could have done with more description and flow of the proper brawl since it opened the piece, but I like what you did with it. Naturally it is a situation they’d have to follow.

    typo: 1st sentence: comma unnecessary

  3. Not a bad story, but again the grammar lets you down (unnecessay comma in the first sentence, inverted comma after personalities.) I also feel that certain sentences would work better as two or more sentences (as she sat on the sofa…) but I loved the twist (you seem to have a knack for that) and the comparison to apes was clever.

  4. jackkholt says:

    Great little twist!

  5. Hehe… you had me and all the screaming and arguing is precisely why I try avoid watching shows like Big Brother.

    Nicely done Brian.

  6. Icy Sedgwick says:

    The flow seems a little bit hesitant in places but I really like the idea behind it. It’s shocking how people seem to get sucked into watching shows like that.

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